These are the words I was afraid to stand behind because I had too much anxiety and could not process my experiences and how they were separate from the spirit of who I was. All of these songs were written and created during True Jackson VP .. I had already had a poor experience with my first record company and then when I started TJVP I embarked on a second album and yet again, I let the labels confusion of me not being able to fit in a box become MY confusion of me. It was almost as if I was “divergent” (which we all are) and I was being ridiculed and not supported because the industry couldn’t understand it. I swallowed my voice for so long and felt that I would not release this music because I was sick of the music business turning its back on me!!
It wasn’t until many years later (now) that I have listened back on these records and realized I have always known the truth of who I was I just allowed others perception of me to become my perception of myself. I did not spread my wings because I was told I couldn’t fly a certain way and I believed it! I stopped trying all together because I allowed people to make me believe that being an artist meant having big budget music videos and big record producers backing you. When in reality, all being an artist means is to be fearless in your creative pursuits. My anxiety, caused by the habit of unconsciously holding my breath, coupled with the stress of my personal life at that time created a lot of hard years of depression for me. However, I am exalted now because God brings it to you when you are ready, not when you think you are. I am now right where I should be and I can see with my heart that I have always known who I am and who I want to be.
Now I release to you the unreleased album I composed when I was sixteen, now titled, “Waited To Exhale” Enjoy, I love you all for your support during those years even though I let so many of you down. It was so hard for me to fight through my anxiety and my depression but God put me through it so I can tell you! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF BECAUSE THATS ALL THAT IS STOPPING YOU! You must believe in the dark so when the light comes on everything is seen clearly.